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You Asked…We are Answering

by Maggie Dugan, Wisconsin

In an effort to provide a support system where parents can get the scoop from other parents, PULL-UPS.com provides a Sharing Space where you can "talk potty." While many of you are giving and receiving helpful advice, we've noticed not everyone is getting their questions answered on our message board.
Thats why we ve enlisted the help of Maggie Dugan, former PULL-UPS® Potty Training Partner and child care expert - to help answer some of your challenging questions.

Q: My daughter is 22 months old. I have tried to introduce potty training to her. She is completely petrified of the potty seat. Does anyone have any suggestions? Is she maybe not ready? She will walk up to it on her own, but if I come into the bathroom or even attempt to put her on the potty, she will scream and go running out of the bathroom. I dont want potty training to be a scary thing for her.

A: You re right, potty training shouldnt be scary. She just might not be ready for potty training yet. Look for signs such as staying dry for at least two hours at a time, waking up dry from naps and nighttime and asking to use the bathroom even if she doesnt go potty. If she is showing signs of readiness, then you may want to start with a small potty chair rather then a toilet seat. Sometimes even though the seat is attached to the toilet, it still looks big to the child. I know its challenging, but be patient, she ll get there in time.

Q: I have a 2 year old daughter who loves to have her diaper changed but hates wearing training pants. She stays still, doesnt scream and is an angel when I put diapers on her but she throws a fit when I try to put training pants on her. Can someone please help me?!

A: If your child is comfortable with a diaper I would keep her in a diaper for now. She may not be ready for training pants even though you are ready to have her in them. It may be a sign she is not ready to start potty training. You want her to have a positive experience, so wait about a month and then re-introduce training pants to her.

Q: My son is 23 months right now and I am expecting our second child in December. I am really hoping to have my son off diapers by then. He tells me after the fact that he goes, but how do I get him to tell me before? I dont want to rush him in any way but it seems like he would much rather be in regular underwear than diapers.

A: The key here is that you "dont want to rush him." Although it would be nice to have him trained before the new baby comes, you want to make sure he is ready. By telling you he went, he is already showing one sign of readiness. Continue praising that behavior and say "lets see if we can make it to the potty chair before we go in our PULL-UPS® Training Pants next time." Be aware that your child may be feeling overwhelmed by having a new brother or sister on the way and staying in his diaper may be his way of staying your "baby."

Q: Help!!! I am at my wits end! My son just turned 3 this month. He has been using the potty to pee for several months now. He has never pooped in the potty, not even by accident. He absolutely refuses. He will not give me any reasons at all. I have tried everything. If I threaten him with punishment he will hold himself for several days until he becomes constipated. I have offered him all kinds of rewards and sometimes he seems excited about them but he still will not poop in the potty. Any other suggestions?

A: Remember that urinating and bowel training are two separate processes. Even though your child is completely trained when it comes to urinating, he still might need a longer time to be bowel trained. Some children feel if they have a BM in the toilet, their entire insides fall into the toilet with it. So if the child feels more at ease with having a BM in a training pant or diaper, allow him to do that. Refusing this could cause medical problems down the road. One way to help your child see that it is okay to have a BM in the potty is by explaining how it is just like going in the diaper. Also explain that a BM and toilet paper are the only things that can be flushed down the toilet, not people.

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